By Zayna Desouky, SRVUSD High School Student
When I was in 8th grade, I dreaded going to PE. I was never the best at dodgeball, baseball, or especially kickball. Every day before class, I would ask my friends what sport we were playing. If I knew it was something I was likely to be bad at, I would come up with an excuse. I would tell my teacher that my leg hurt and I couldn’t run, or that my stomach cramps were so bad I could barely stand.
The truth was, I was terrified of being embarrassed.
The Fear of Getting It Wrong
The moment I made a mistake or felt like I wasn’t doing as well as everyone else, I would feel an overwhelming sense of shame. I imagined people laughing at me or replaying my worst moments in their minds. I convinced myself I would be bad at something before I even gave myself a chance to try.
Watching From the Sidelines
Sitting on the sidelines brought some relief. At least I wasn’t out there where everyone could see me mess up. But an even bigger part of me felt left out. I could see how much fun everyone else was having, and I wished I could be part of it.
I let my fear of embarrassment and shame cloud my judgment, and over time, I became so afraid of doing something wrong that I started avoiding things that could have been fun and meaningful experiences.
I know now that many young people experience this same fear. Feeling embarrassed from time to time is completely normal, but when the fear of being judged or humiliated begins to shape the way you interact with others, it can contribute to low self-esteem, depression, and social anxiety.
Learning to Take the Risk
Even as I’ve gotten older, I still experience that familiar panic when I consider doing something I might not be good at. But I’m learning that if we allow the fear of embarrassment to control our choices, we can miss out on so many opportunities to grow, connect, and discover things we enjoy.
Sometimes, getting outside our comfort zone means being willing to be a little uncomfortable, make a mistake, and keep going.
For teens who are struggling with social anxiety, embarrassment, or shame, it’s important to know that they don’t have to face it alone. Resources like Discovery Counseling Center are here to provide accessible, compassionate support to young people and families who are feeling overwhelmed.
Support Is Available
For teens struggling with social anxiety, embarrassment, shame, or fear of judgment, talking with someone can help.
Discovery Counseling Center provides compassionate, accessible mental health support for young people and families in the San Ramon Valley and surrounding community. Therapy can provide a safe place for teens to better understand what they’re feeling, develop healthy coping skills, build confidence, and find ways to participate more fully in the experiences that matter to them.
No one should have to spend their life watching from the sidelines because they’re afraid of making a mistake.
There is room to try, to stumble, to learn, and to grow.